Here we are at week two of our renovations.  This week has had a very deep impact on me from something simplistic yet profound.  I admitted last week that I have a deep rooted issue with control which can Lead to moments of great anxiety.  This endeavor to remodel the house with a budget we hope we can maintain, fear of unexpected issues or expenditures or the greatest fear we cannot bring it to completion; has definitely had me in a battlefield of the mind.  I tell myself that I am giving control to God over and over again, yet signs of hidden anxiety rear their ugly head in me both physically and mentally.  This then leads to anxiety about the fact I have anxiety and the crazy wheel begins to spin completely out of control.

This renovation is happening! demo has begun and as my husband so playfully stated there is no changing your mind now.  What was the master bathroom is now gutted and we have moved into the guest bathroom until our new master suite is complete.  We only choose the busiest month ever to take this plunge!  December with all of it’s Christmas craziness and adding in the fact we are leaving for a weeks vacation in Florida in two weeks. Christmas shopping needs to get done.  Once again my lack of control over the Calendar and the speed time moves is very overwhelming to me.  I need to know that I have a plan of attack that will result in everything coming together exactly as I have envisioned it.  Plan was mapped out and then…. the winter storm warning came in for the weekend.  Anywhere from 1”- 24” inches of snow predicted which meant being stuck at home all weekend with a high probability of no power.  Grocery shopping needs to get done, supplies checked, would we be able to find our Coleman stove and camping coffee pot or were they buried Under the many boxes we have been packing for this renovation??  Are you now feeling anxious? Welcome to my world Where one little questioning thought that runs through your mind and bam full fledge marathon of worries to follow.  

The “anxiety ants” came a marching through one by one.  We had purchased tickets again this year for the local theater play “The Best Christmas Padgett Ever”; last year this had been cancelled due to snow and ice and it seemed to me that I was not destined to see this play ever!  Next it was the lack of time to complete my Christmas shopping.  I only had two weekends left before we head to Florida and a half a day of one of those was already taken up with another commitment.  I was never going to have enough time to get my shopping done!  

In the midst of my struggles to surrender to the process and retrain my brain to understand that it is not in control at all, God showed up with His fatherly love to give me reassurance, comfort and encouragement.  This love that God has for us, blows my mind time and time again.  No matter how much we do not feel like we deserve it, His love never changes!  It is an everyday kind of love and every moment we are in it!  The only thing that changes is whether or not we tune in enough to recognize it.

Saturday morning arrived and as I woke up and peeked out the window to see what Mother Nature had bestowed on us while we were sleeping, it was rain only.  Hum, maybe we can get some things done this morning before this rain changes into something worse.  Bryan and I spent the morning doing some Christmas shopping and even taking the time to make some decisions and purchases for our remodel.  We came home and as I moved everything out of our master bath into the guest bath, Bryan finished the demo.  It was early afternoon and as friends that lived in the surrounding area were posting that snow was falling, rain was still falling for us.  The play was at 7:00, would it be possible that we could go this year?  We ate dinner and got ready for the play.   As we were leaving the play the winter mix began to arrive, the timing was perfect as we got home before the slushy snow began to fall.  It was in that moment, walking to the car after the play, that I realized God had given me the desire of my heart.  It made me smile, actually giggle as I walked through the very cold wet mix to the warmth of our car.  As we were driving home I was thinking about how I had so many mixed emotions about this weekend.  Like a kid who wanted everything, I had a perfect scenario mapped out in my mind.  A weekend snow would be awesome.  Anytime it snows and I do not have the anxiety of having to drive to or from work is a good snow day.  I could envision having some relaxing time with a hot cup of coffee and a beautiful view of a snow covered yard out my windows, that was appealing.  But, I did not want to lose power, miss my play and even better be able to get a few things done then it could snow.  By the way an extra day in the weekend would be great so no work on Monday maybe? A text came through and snapped me out of my thoughts; Church has been cancelled due to the overnight weather threat.  I guess I will be sleeping in tomorrow.

Sunday morning we slept in and watched the service online in our pajamas with a hot cup of coffee and breakfast.  Breakfast and worship no better way to start a day! We had only a few inches of slushy snow and our power had never even flickered.  I then began my Sunday routine and headed to the kitchen for my dinner prep work for the week.  I was once again stopped by a text from work, the office will be closed on Monday.  My smile and giggles returned once again as this little desire of my heart was fulfilled.  I was once again feeling overwhelmed.  This time however my anxiety had been replaced by the overwhelming love of a Father who is in complete control of my life.  This Father who choose to shine on me this weekend; to meet me in the battle field and not only remind me of who was in control but to allow me to experience His love in action.  I prefer this kind of overwhelmed! 

“The Lord your God in your midst, The Mighty one, will save; 

He will rejoice over you with gladness,

He will quiet you with His love,

He will rejoice over you with singing”.   Zephaniah 3:17

I experienced the truth of this scripture this weekend!  In the simplicity of such small and insignificant things the message of God’s love rang through loud and clear.  I challenge you to take the time to recognize the love of God in the midst of your day.  Allow His love to change your perspective and squash the “ants of anxiety” before they build a permanent home in your mind.

This weekend was the official beginning of our home remodel.  I have to say I am excited and anxious simultaneously.  You see I love to have complete control and understanding of all that is happening and going to happen in my life.  I like order and control.  I am a creature of habit and changing certain aspects of my environment pushes my anxiety buttons.  Yet, God has given us the thumbs up to embark on this project that has been a dream in our hearts for the last several years.  God’s timing is always perfect. My work place is also beginning an expansion/remodel while we stay open. The church we attend is in the process of constructing a new permanent facility that we should be going into by April.   God’s timing is always perfect but not always easy to understand or comprehend. Every aspect of my world seems to be being renewed.  Could God also be trying to teach me about self renewal in the process?

I think this girl is fixing to get a very intense lesson in it being ok if things are not ok.  Sometimes we have to be willing to make the small step of changing something in order to not fall into the traps of comfort and complacency.  It is amazing how our perspective can change when we are open to change.  

So, I have survived the first weekend of my “normal” being adjusted as we moved from our master bedroom, which is going to become the master bathroom suite, to the much smaller guest room.  I have boxed up clothes and clutter and adjusted my attitude; and at the end of the day find that I have a quaint new bedroom to sleep in with a new view out the window.   The fear of change and adjustment can keep us from experiencing the simple pleasures in life.

Will you embark on this crazy “renewal” journey with me?  I will be blogging weekly on the lessons I learn in the process of change in every aspect of my life.  I am sure this will be a journey of ups and downs, highs and lows but I believe that the end result is going to be worth the journey.  

I believe that God works all things for good if we will just trust in him.  We have to step out of our boats of comfort and complacency and onto the turbulent waters where God is beckoning us to come and see all that He wants to show us.  I am leaping out of the boat and with great anticipation opening my heart, mind and soul to all that God what’s to shower on my life.  I will trust in the known as I embark into the unknown.  Surrendering complete control of every aspect of my life to the one who lights my path and promises me abundant life!

I hope you will follow along as I am sure that these lessons won’t be exclusive to me.  

I am not sure why The analogy of fire has come up so much  for me lately.  First it was things I learned while around the campfire and just last week Pastor Patrick mentioned fire in his sermon.  “ Fire is both inviting and terrifying simultaneously” I was intrigued by this statement and then the Holy Spirit began to show me an analogy of how Holy Spirit fire can be both inviting and terrifying simultaneously.

Fire can be very inviting.  A campfire burning on a crisp fall night draws us in to its warmth and potential for some marshmallow roasting delight.  As we move closer to the fire and hold our roasting stick over it’s hot coals we are quickly reminded of the danger of potential burns if our skin is to close to the flames.  One of the most inviting locations to read a book while sipping a hot cup of cocoa is next to the fireplace; yet a clogged or closed flume could fill the room with unwanted smoke endangering our serenity.  Fire is both inviting and terrifying simultaneously.

I think it is the same way with Holy Spirit fire.  It can be alluring and enticing to be filled with Holy Spirit fire!  It can fill you with so much excitement and energy. It gives you the strength you need to walk in confidence in whose you are and fuels your ability to fulfill your purpose.  When you are close to it, warmed by it, you feel safe and secure.  When the  winter seasons of your life arrive, Holy Spirit fire keeps us warm and shelters us from the bitterness of the storm.  It’s flame is eternal and the light it exudes brightens any darkness that tries to ooze it’s way in to our lives.  Holy Spirit Fire entices us with the light and warmth of God’s truth.  So why wouldn’t we want to be near this fire always and forever?  Why would we walk away from its warmth and protection?

This is where the “fire is inviting and terrifying simultaneously” plays into it.  As inviting and alluring as Holy Spirit fire is it is simultaneously terrifying.  It requires us to surrender everything we know, understand and comprehend within our own mental ability.  It illuminates the dark with truth which is not always something easy or pleasant to face.  It sets us apart and can alienate us from the crowd.  When you are basking in the warmth of Holy Spirit Fire you cannot remain the same.  The comfort of familiarity will be melted away.  This is the reason so many of us poke around the fire but walk away when the heat becomes too much to handle.

Another defining factor of being around the fire is the aroma you carry with you.  You cannot deny having been around the fire.  The smoke from the fire always penetrates your clothes and hair.  A shower becomes a necessity unless you want the Smokey smell to encompass everything you encounter.  The clothes when taken out of the hamper to be washed will be another reminder of your time around the fire.  The same is true with Holy Spirit fire.  There is an aroma of distinction that comes from your time with Holy Spirit fire.  This “aroma” is more of an alluring difference that others will see in you that cannot be explained specifically but is distinct and noticeable like an aroma.  There will be no denying that you have been around the Holy Spirit fire the aroma of His presence will follow you wherever you go.

What an intriguing and frightening concept this Holy Spirit fire is.  It is a spiritual battlefield between the desire to embrace the power of the Holy Spirit residing in you and conform to the “normalcy” as defined by the world.  There is fire to be found in both scenarios.  The only difference is one is a light unto truth, freedom and eternity and the other is a flame that will entice you into a false sense of security and happiness that will leave you with an unquenchable thirst.

” I indeed baptize you with water unto repentance, but He who is coming after me is mightier than I, whose sandals I am not worthy to carry. He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and fire.  His winnowing fan is in His hand, and He will thoroughly clean out His threshing floor, and gather His wheat into the barn; but He will burn up the chaff with unquenchable  fire”  Matthew 3:11-12

I have always been intrigued by how God used every day analogies to help people understand the truth.  He used stories that the particular group of people listening, could relate to.  God never changes and neither does His methods of reaching His children.  He may not physically be walking the earth today but he still uses “Parables” to communicate with us today, if we only take the time to listen and recognize his voice.

The end of this year has brought much construction and renewal activity around my life.  Our church is currently in the process of building a permanent home at our new location, my work is getting ready to start an office renovation  and my husband and I are currently praying for God’s direction on a possible remodel project on our home.  With the possibility of every aspect of my life (church, work, home) undergoing remodel change, I pondered that there must be some lessons God wants to show me this upcoming year.  Exciting and frightening prospect I must admit.

There is one thing that the prospect of a remodel does, it makes you more aware of your surrounding and gives you the incentive to purge and renew.  It is amazing to me how much “junk” we can accumulate over time. Also how easily we become accustom to the “junk” and so easily allow it to become an acceptable part of our lives.   It is the same way with our minds.  There is so much “junk” that is processed through our minds everyday that over time we allow to become an acceptable part of our lives.  We become so robotic in our daily routines and so full of excuses and justification for why things cannot change or be cleaned up right now.

It is only when we accept the remodel-renew concept that our vision is adjusted and the things we have allowed to compile over time become the eyesore and unwanted messes that need to be cleaned up.  Just like a remodel of our home motivates us to see the potential and therefore the areas we have been neglecting; a renewing of our mind will do the same thing.  When you allow the possibility of a renewing of your mind, you will begin to see the lies for what they are and be willing to throw out the “junk” to make room for the beautiful truth you now envision.

This weekend was spent with a renewed passion for the clean up of our home in eager anticipation of a potential remodelling project around the corner.  The same is true of our minds.  Will we be as eager to renew our thought process and allow the truth to remove the lies we have become so adapted and adjusted to?  Will we eagerly embark on ways to remove the debris so that there is room for renewal?

I needed this parable this weekend.  I love how God showed me how too much “junk” in our lives can keep us from having our best.   I have been on a quest to relentlessly pursue my true identity.  I believe this piece of wisdom has inspired me to evaluate the “junk” in my mind that I have allowed to hang out for way too long!  I think it is time to do a little clean up  and remodel of my thinking to reflect the truth .  How about you?

God said, “My presence will go with you, I’ll see the journey to the end”.  Exodus 33:14 (The Message)

This Old Testament scripture is not just an Old Testament promise.  This promise is one we have upon acceptance of God as our Lord and Savior.  His presence is always with us.  He will see us to the end of our earthly journey and reveal His face to us in eternity.  A truth we can bank on!

My Labor Day camping trip gave me so much insight and wisdom in such a short weekend trip!  This is just another example of how God showed up and showed off.

Saturday morning we decided to venture outside the campground and see if we could find a place where Bryan could go fishing.  We both felt that this weekend was meant for refreshment and relaxation.  Bryan finds fishing very relaxing, me not so much.  So, I grabbed my book and planned to sit and read while he was fishing.  We went to a trail on a brochure we had picked up at the campground office that said it had a creek within a short walking distance.  Before we took all of our stuff we decided to walk back and see what the area looked like.  It was a total bust.  It lead to a tricking area of water that was a very long stretch to call it a “fishing creek”.  We headed back to the car and decided to just roll down the windows and enjoy the drive back towards the campground.  As we were driving Bryan heard the sound of water moving faster than a trickle and pulled off on the side of the road to investigate.  We were able to get down and work our way back to where the water sound was coming from.  It was  like finding a buried treasure as we had our own private creek to fish from and a perfect big flat rock for me to lay in the sunshine and read my book!  We went back to the car and retrieved the fishing gear, some drinking water and my book. Little did I know that God was going to meet us here.

I was finishing up a book a dear friend gave me,  Box of Butterflies by Roma Downey.  I opened up to where I had left of; the chapter title, A Space For Grace.  The beginning quote “ You cannot in one glance survey this most vast and beautiful system of the universe, in its wide expanse, without being completely overwhelmed by the boundless force of its brightness.”  John Calvin.  How those words resonated with me as I lay on the rock with a beautiful bright sun shinning down on me through the numerous trees, reflecting off the water that was beautifully sceranading me.  Then I read the first few sentences of this chapter.  “When life begins to get messy and chaotic and loud, I have to take time away.  I have to find a moment of stillness.  And I find that stillness through prayer and in nature.”    My heart skipped a beat.  These simple words were so profound to me.  You see we were in the midst of a 21 Days of Prayer challenge at our church.  I had been so desperately trying to make prayer a more predominant thing in my life; and here were the very words I needed to hear.  It continued to elaborate on this concept.  “It is only when we slow down that we are able to breathe. To connect with the spirit of God.  To hear God.  It is only in that peace that we can see the butterfly and notice the miracles unfolding all around.”

I placed the book on my stomach and took a moment of stillness to absorb all that God was speaking to my spirit.   Yes.  I knew I so desperately needed stillness.  My life had gotten so overly consumed with stuff that I could not truly enjoy the moments of prayer or anything else for that matter.  Here in this stillness, in nature, I was able to connect with the spirit of God and allow Him to give me clarity.  To restore me.  To reveal the truth surrounding me and allow the worries of yesterday and tomorrow to fade completely away, allowing me to be present in the here and now.

I glanced over at my husband who was fishing and God whispered to my spirit “I am with him too”.  This same sun that was warming me on this rock as I read my book, was shining on my husband as he cast his fishing pole.  The Son of God shines on all things at once.  We are all unique individuals with different interest, gifts, talents and hobbies; and God loves us all equally.  I reflected back on how many times I had allowed our (Bryan and I) differences to be a hinderance to Our togetherness.  Yet our differences could be the very thing God was using to make a beautiful tapestry called marriage.  You see God doesn’t need us to be the exact same. Not at all! He needs us to be who He created us to be and allow the brightness of His love to connect us in a way that the world cannot take away.  When we are being plugged into the spirit individually, we can then come together collectively and conquer the world!  The key to it all is finding your stillness, whatever that looks like for you and within that stillness finding God.

I was so energized and overwhelmed at how God had once again preserved a special place for us to find where we could coexist with our different forms of relaxation and meet the same savior who spoke to us both where we were.    I wanted to stay on that rock indefinitely!  It was peaceful here. Bryan had finished fishing and was coming my way to join me on my rock.  I  finished the last few pages of my book and we sat together on this rock taking in the beauty that was surrounding us and the peace that was enveloping our marriage.   Bryan recorded the sounds of the water flowing and I took in the moment and all that God had said to my spirit.  I tucked it away in my heart.  We grabbed our things and headed back to the car.

In every walk with nature one receives far more than he seeks.  John Muir

That had definitely been my experience.  I went in search of a quiet place on the water to read my book and found a stillness that revealed the presence of the Spirit of God that my busyness had been drowning out.

Take some time this week to find your stillness.  It does not always look like a rock in the sun.  It can be a cup of coffee on the porch before sunrise.   A stroll on the beach.  A walk around your neighborhood.  Whatever your unique thing is that helps you find relaxation and cleansing of mind, do that and find a beautifully refreshing moment in the midst of your hectic life.

“ But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the spirit of the Lord.”  2 Corinthians 3:18 (NKJV)

“Live in me. Make your home in me just as I do in you. In the same way that a branch can’t bear grapes by itself but only by being joined to the vine, you can’t bear fruit unless you are joined with me.”  John 15:4 (The Message)

The enemies number one goal is to Kill, steal and destroy all that God intends for us to enjoy.   Just like John 15:4 tells us, if we are disconnected from Christ then we are unable to produce fruit in our lives.  Therefore, the enemy slithers through our lives distracting us from spending time living in Christ, just as He lives in us.   When you are distracted and caught up in the things of this world you don’t even realize how disconnected you are from Christ.    You realize you are exhausted, frustrated, unable to achieve all you believe needs to be achieved in order to deem your self a success in life.   However, you don’t correlate that back to being disconnected from Christ.

A few weeks ago I stepped outside of the craziness called my life,  with just a tent and my hubby we retreated to a location where “no signal” was the only message we could receive on our cell phones.  As we sat quietly and peacefully around the campfire an amazing thing began to transpire.   We were actually having a real conversation.  It was in that moment that I began to realize just how easily we can be deceived.   There are so many demands that this world places on us and so many traps we have fallen into that require a lot of time and energy to work ourselves back out of.  In the midst of that it is easy to get caught up in the merry go around of life.  Going through each day robotically doing what needs to be done; crawling into bed exhausted at the end of the day only to wake up and repeat.   Our marriages can become more of a business partnership,where we check in with each other to see if all is being accomplished, rather than an intimate partnership that God designed them to be.

”So  then they are no longer two, but one flesh “ Mark 10:8

If we want to have true joy and balance in our marriages then we have to be connected to the Vine, Jesus Christ.   Outside of that connection we are nothing more than dead branches that will eventually fall to the wayside and ultimately be destroyed.

As we sat there talking, not superficially but deeply, about the things that were in our heart and minds I felt security and love.  As we laughed, talked and connected I felt my spinning head start to find some clarity.  I felt as if I had finally stepped off the merry go around called life and was able to take a breath and truly grasp the beauty of my current situation.  I gained clarity and insight into the tactics the enemy had used to keep me distant and confused; making it so easy to plant seeds of doubt and discontentment in my mind that was working its way into my heart.  The glow of this campfire was illuminating more than the darkness of the night, it was illuminating the truth I had been so deceitfully lured away from.   It was’nt my camping trip or this campfire that was making all of this possible.  No, it had always been there waiting on me.  You see God never changes.  He is not elusive.  He does not play hide and seek.  He is always present.  In all things.  Through all things. In spite of all things.  We just have to be connected to Him so that we are not distracted by the things of this world which are superficial and fading; but are aware of the eternal promises that never change.  No matter what, we are a part of a bigger picture.  One that does not require our efforts or expertise.  One that cannot be measures by worldly standards.  In the bigger picture, our success is measured by our surrender.  It is only in the place of complete surrender, to a God who is abiding within us and wants us to abide in Him as well, that we can find fulfillment.

“As the Father loved Me, I also have loved you; abide in my love.”  John 15:9

I could not stay at that campsite indefinitely basking in this new found connection with my God and my husband; the beautiful truth is I do not have to.  This experience was something available to me on a daily basis I only need to choose it.  This revolution has brought me to the conclusion that when I find myself overwhelmed, frustrated, feeling disconnected from any stable ground; I will step off the merry go around called life and chose to abide with the Vine that can restore my life.   I will take the time with my husband and connect on a deeper more intimate level as God so desires for us.  Phones can be turned off.  Seriously, you will survive I promise.   Find that place of disconnect whatever that may look like for you.  Intentionally chose to first and foremost connect with your Heavenly Father and then allow that to follow in your relationships.

Find some “campfire time” and renew your mind, body and soul.   You were made for so much more than what this world has to offer.  All of your efforts to find validation and happiness from its source will leave you depleted!  Choose life.  Choose love.  Abide within the love of the savior and find  life in all its fullness.

What better way to spend a long holiday weekend than camping?  Nothing, as long as you have reserved a site on the last holiday weekend of the season.  Our last minute decision to take advantage of the upcoming long weekend left me pessimistic that we would be able to find a campsite available on such a popular camping weekend.  My husband however, insisted that we give it a try, sure that we could find something.  My type A personality had me agreeing to go with my husbands “fly by the seat of your pants” philosophy, with an attitude of “let me show you how this is so not going to work out”.   Little did I know that I was in for a lesson I was not anticipating at all!

Friday morning at work we were discussing our long weekend plans, when ask what we had planned I shared that we were going camping.  Where are you going they ask?  Wherever we can get a site I chuckled.  Then the lesson began with these seemingly simple and innocent words… “sometimes those are the best kinds of trips”.  I am not sure why that simple statement shifted my thinking but it triggered something inside of me to click on a more positive switch and see that if this weekend was meant to be, then God had already prepared the perfect spot. All we had to do was go into action and claim what was ours for the weekend.

I had been participating in a 21 days of prayer challenge that our Church was undergoing and had a prayer partner that was helping hold me accountable and encouraging me in this habit forming endeavor.  She had text me that morning and ask how can I pray for you today?  I ask that she pray for a rejuvenating weekend for Bryan and I.  We are going camping, if we can find a site, I pessimistically responded.   Her response was that she would definitely be praying. “You will find the perfect spot and make great memories” was her claim.  I really started thinking I have often claimed that God cares about the details of our lives; I have even experienced it many times in the past. Oh, how easy it is to forget what we know from experience to be true and instead get hindered by the dark clouds of negativity, complacency and worldly thoughts.  Humm…could she be right?  Could God have a refreshing weekend all mapped out for us?  I began to open my heart and mind  to the possibility that God, in all His sovereignty, wanted the same thing we did in our marriage, some rest, refreshing and rejuvenation. Only time would tell.

I ended up having to stay late and close the office on Friday, churning up my doubt that we were going to pull this “finding a decent camping site” off at all.  I closed the office, got to my car and text my husband that I was finally on my way home!  There was no response which I found unusual, especially since he had to be pacing waiting on me to get home as time was ticking and the good sites were being gobbled up my the second!  I took a deep breath and turned up my worship music.  This chic needed an attitude adjustment and a little peace of mind.  Then a thought ran through my mind. Maybe Bryan was not answering me because he was at the campground getting us a site; there is no phone signal there.  Could that be it!?   I arrived at home to find my husbands car was not there.  I went in and ran up stairs to see if the tent bag was still here.  It was missing!  Do we have a site? Seconds later a text message came in from Bryan as he told me he was headed back, we had a site, tent was set, this weekend was happening!

Bryan came home and we loaded up our supplies for the weekend, ate our dinner and headed to Standing Indian for a relaxing and refreshing weekend.  Woot! Woot!  My attitude had now shifted to a child like excitement!  Did we get a good site honey?  We are in the back in a private spot and you can hear water running at the site. Of course you did, I thought quietly to myself.  On the busiest weekend, you found the perfect spot for relaxation and refreshing.  In the midst of a campground swarming with families embracing the last summer holiday weekend; we found serenity and our own little slice of heaven on earth.  Only by the favor of the Lord could all of this have fallen into place.  My heart was bursting with gratitude and delight as all my negativity and doubt faded away and was replaced with a feeling of love that existed just for me, in spite of me and I wanted to drink in every last drop of it this weekend.

I share this story, which seems from a worldly perspective very insignificant and frivolous: To illuminate the truth and the light that shines in so many areas of our lives that we overlook as insignificant and therefore, miss great yet small opportunities to have a little taste of God’s goodness in the palate of our lives.   But, by the grace of God, this opportunity would have been missed by me.  It would have been typical of me to have refused to participate in such a poor planned weekend.  Clutching the belief that it was impossible to think you could find any decent camping site on the Friday afternoon of Labor Day weekend. Therefore, not even making the attempt.  Hind site now shows me what an incredible blessing I would have thrown away if that had remained my attitude.  You see the blessing was always there whether I choose to embrace it or not.  It got me to thinking.  How many blessings has God so lovingly prepared for me each day? How many blessings have I overlooked or just completely ran passed in my striving to achieve the next thing I believe will make me happy and fulfilled?

Can we go through life “by the seat of our pants” always and it will work out?  Absolutely not!  What we can count on however, is that if we are not willing to be open to the impossible, we will never experience the little blessings, like this weekend, that God sprinkles into different areas and seasons of our lives.  We need to remember the truths God has told us he wants us to experience in life.

The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy.  I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.  John 10:10

Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.  Take My yolk upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and My burden is light.   Matthew 11:28-30

Delight yourself also in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, Trust also in Him, And He shall bring it to pass.  Psalm 37:4-5

These three truths were poured into our Lives this weekend.  The enemy comes to kill, steal and destroy.  The enemy is the one who wants you to be negative, complacent and full of worldly thoughts. If I had stayed there, I would have missed the abundant life God had in store for me.  God then fulfilled the promise come to me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.  Then as I began to delight in the Lord, even If intermittently, he gave me the desires of my heart!  A tucked away site, surrounded by trees and a peaceful creek of running water to lull me to sleep.  He knows me so well!

What blessings or fulfillment of truth and promise could you be missing out on today?  Open your heart and mind to the possibilities; then take actions/steps to see if you can find your little slice of heaven in the midst of this crazy, noisy world.   You have nothing to lose and everything to gain!!

“Rejoicing in hope, patient in tribulation, continuing steadfastly in prayer”  Romans 12:12

In Romans 12:12, God gives us the command to be patient in tribulation.  What do you think of when you read these words?  I am sure you have heard the terms “suck it up buttercup”, “put your big girl panties on”, “quit kicking rocks” just to quote a few; but this is not what God means by this command.  He is not instructing us to “suck it up”, he is instructing us to buckle up in the armor that He has given us for the battle.  In the beginning of Romans 12:12, his first command is to rejoice in hope. Hope is not “wishful thinking”.  No, it is much deeper and stronger than that!  Hope is standing firm on the truth.  Jesus is the way, the truth and the light.  He will direct our path and show us the truth in the situations we might find ourselves in.

“We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not despairing; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying about in the body the dying of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body.”  2 Corinthians 4:8-11

We have to remember daily whose we are!  The victory has already been won!  The worst possible scenario, death, has been defeated!!  So what could we possibly have to fear?   Not only do we have victory even over death, we have a Savior who is not distant nor unapproachable. God eagerly seeks a relationship with you.  Within this relationship you will get to know the heart of Jesus and once you truly comprehend the heart of Jesus you will be able to walk confidently through any storm.   As 2 Corinthians 4:8-11 reveals the truth that no matter what, we have Jesus: therefore, we have victory.

We are afflicted in every way – But not crushed.

We may not understand everything that is happening to us – But we are not despairing.

We will be persecuted for our believes – But we will never be left alone.

We may be struck down for a time – But we will not be destroyed.

Patience in tribulation is not “sucking it up buttercup”.  It is standing firm on the rock of truth!  It is not losing hope in the times of tribulation but joyfully expecting the God glorifying outcome.

”And He has said to me “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness”. Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.  Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ’s sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong.” 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

God patiently walked through persecution and affliction in order to redeem us!  He was falsely persecuted and put to death for YOU! Therefore, we should view our times of tribulation as character building exercises that are making us more like Christ.  So the next time someone tells you to “suck it up buttercup” or something of that nature, let your response be, “No, I am going to buckle up in the armor of Truth, for when I am weak, then I become strong”.

”We also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope.”  Romans 5:3

“Love never looks back”. I Corinthians 13:7 (The Message)

One of the greatest gifts God gave us by sacrificing His son on the cross was forgiveness and new beginnings.

“ Anyone united with the Messiah gets a fresh start, is created new.  The old life is gone; a new life burgeons! Look at it!  All this comes from the God who settled the relationship between us and him, and then called us to settle our relationships with each other.”  2 Corinthians 5:17-18 (The Message)

The blood of Jesus Christ covers our sins completely!  It is through the blood of the lamb that we are granted access to the Throne Room!  God made a way to have relationship with us and our sinful nature so how can we not show that same love and deep relational desire to our spouse?

“As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us.” Psalm 103: 12 (NKJV)

God wants our marriages to reflect His purest love.  Just like He requires us to repent of our sins and receive forgiveness, He expects us to confront the sinful nature in our relationships, repent and move forward .  This is something God feels very strongly about.

” But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins”  Matthew 6:15

We need to address and repent of the sins that are damaging our relationships and forgive our spouses.  If you do not forgive your spouse then God cannot forgive you.  Let that sink in for a moment.  You are no better than your spouse so if unforgiveness is what you choose then you have chosen it for yourself as well. Gods word is truth. It does not change and it does not contradict itself.

“Forget about what’s happened; don’t keep going over old history. Be alert, be present.  I’m about to do something brand-new!”  Isaiah 43: 18 (The Message)

Once we have chosen forgiveness we then have to put it in the past.  You cannot move forward if you are constantly looking back.  There is nothing that hinders healing more in a marriage than a spouse that continually throws old history into current time.  Remember, words have power; they bring life or death into your marriage.  Words of past wrongs will never allow for new behaviors to flourish.  Love never looks back.  Love is alert and aware of the present.  How are you going to recognize this new thing God wants to do in your marriage if your focus is still back on the past?   Be very conscious of what is taking place in your relationship.  You don’t want to miss out on the new thing God is doing!!

“I’m not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has So wondrously reached out for me.  Friends, don’t get me wrong; by no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but i’ve Got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward- to Jesus.  I’m off and running, and I’m not turning back.”  Phillipans 3:12-14 (The Message)

My marriage is in such a better place than in has been in the past. However, just like what Paul said in Phillipians, I do not claim to have it all together.  The difference is that I am keeping my eye on Christ and His beckoning for our marriage to move forward.  The only time I find myself reflecting on my past, is in the moments where I am recognizing the new thing God has done in me personally and my marriage.  I do not dwell on the past mistakes but use them as the confirmation of the renewing of my mind.  Then I am energized to run forward leaving my past mistakes in the dust.

Take it from someone who has lived the majority of her marriage looking in the rear view mirror, there is freedom found in letting go of your past and embracing a future that is fresh and new.  Leave your past at the foot of the cross where it belongs.   God promises to make all things new!  We just need to keep our eyes on Him and not on the past.

“Trust in the Lord, and do good; Dwell in the land , and feed on His faithfulness. Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, Trust also in Him, And he shall bring it to pass”  Psalm 37: 3-5 (NKJV)

Our hope is found In Jesus.  Nothing is impossible for Him.  Delight in the Lord, keep your focus on Him and He will give yo the desires of your heart!   There is so much joy to be found in your marriage. Be present and alert.  You do not want to miss the new thing God is doing in your marriage.

“ Love always looks for the best”.  1 Corinthians 13:7 (The Message)

Where does your vision tend to focus?  Do you focus in on the positive or the negative aspects of your spouses personality?  How we choose to see things has an enormous impact on how things will ultimately be.

There are so many lessons God has been teaching me over the last several years which have revolved around my attitude and choice of focus.  I am now able to see that my focus determines my attitude about certain situations in my marriage.  Just like being a front door instead of a roof is destructive to our marital foundation, focusing on the negative is destructive to the harmony within your marriage.

My past reflects how much the negativity was in focus and how blurry the positive things were.  I had put myself on a mission to correct all the negative things that needed corrected in Bryan.  In order to correct them I believed that I needed to focus on them daily.  The change I desired to see in my marriage was choked out by the very thing I thought would facilitate the change.  Love always looks for the best. Love is choked out when we focus on the worst.

“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure , whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.”  Phillipians 4:8

When we feel ourselves focusing in on the negative, becoming frustrated, annoyed, wanting to throw in the towel; Lets reflect on Phillipians 4:8.  Measure your thoughts against this truth and if they do not measure up, release them.  Fill your mind with what is true, honorable and just and allow love in it’s purest form to surround your marriage.

I have found that changing my thought process to the positive attributes of my spouse has naturally facilitated less negative behaviors.  I not only focus on  the positive but speak words of encouragement and recognition of them to my spouse.  Verbalizing something puts a seal over it in your mind; it just seems to stick better.   Speak words of encouragement  and positive reinforcement into your relationship.   Love has the power to permanently change a person.  This love that God is instructing us to give, is the same love He has shown to us by giving his only child to die on a cross for our redemption.  That is the kind of love God desires to see reflected back to him through our marriages.  Looking for the best in your spouse and choosing to allow those things to dominate your heart and mind will reflect the love that was intended to be experienced in the unity of marriage.

“Words kill, words give life; they’re either poison or fruit – you choose”  Proverbs 18:21 (The Message)

Yours words are either killing your marriage or breathing life into it… you choose.  What you think in your mind will take root and escape out of your mouth.  Negative thoughts are like drinking poison; you are destined for death.  Positive thoughts are like delicious fruit nourishing and giving you strength and life.   What will you choose for your marriage today?